Embracing Rest and Balance: Breaking Free from Survival Mode

Embracing Rest and Balance: Breaking Free from Survival Mode

For so many women, survival mode is all we know. We push ourselves to the limit, treating everything like an urgent priority, and when we don’t get everything done, we feel like failures. Hustle culture has glorified the grind, but in reality, it’s burning us out and I know this from experience.

I’ll admit, I was never taught how to reset or when to step away from hustle mode. My identity was wrapped up in being a high achiever: excelling in my career as a therapist, constantly hitting professional milestones, and managing a business. But when it came to slowing down, I was at a loss. It took me years to realize that even the space to breathe was an act of rebellion.

Even now, I don’t enjoy networking events the way I used to. I used to think they were about showcasing what I had achieved. But now, when I think about meeting people, I don’t want them to just know my titles. I want them to know me—the woman who loves lemon drops and crawfish, who laughs with her friends and family, and who knows that life exists outside of the demands of work.

Recognizing Survival Mode

For so long, I didn’t even realize I was in survival mode. Everything felt urgent. Every task was a priority. There was no space to rest because I equated slowing down with failure. My 20s were a blur of constant doing, checking off boxes, and barely taking time to enjoy the process. But now, in my 30s, I’m finally learning what true rest looks like and it’s not just sleep.

It was a slow realization. For years, I thought that working nonstop was the key to success. It wasn’t until I stepped back really, really stepped back that I could see how much it was costing me. The burnout, the anxiety, the loneliness; it was all tied to living in survival mode. And that’s when the shift started.

How I Stopped Living in Survival Mode

1. I Evaluated What Was Truly for Me vs. What Was for Others

I had to ask myself: Am I doing this for me, or am I doing it to please someone else? Growing up in a strict Christian household, I felt pressure to always do things "right," to meet everyone’s expectations. My people-pleasers were my parents, and I constantly tried to live up to what I thought they wanted from me. Eventually, I realized that I needed to separate my own desires from the expectations placed on me and that was when I first started to break free from survival mode.

2. I Reassessed My Relationships

Some of my closest relationships were rooted in my survival-mode self. But as I began to prioritize rest, peace, and healing, I noticed that some of those same people couldn’t keep up with this new version of me. Letting go of them was hard. It felt like I was losing part of myself, but in reality, I was gaining the version of myself that was healthier, more balanced, and more aligned with who I truly am. The hardest part was realizing that not everyone would be able to walk with me through this transition. But it was necessary for my growth.

3. I Made Myself a Priority

This was a game-changer. Instead of filling my calendar with endless meetings and work commitments, I started making space for me. Gym sessions, pilates, pedicures, solo lunches, and quiet moments that nourished my soul instead of draining me. This shift didn’t happen overnight. In fact, at first, it felt selfish. But now, I realize that it wasn’t selfish; it was necessary for me to show up for the people who matter.

4. I Stepped Back from Certain Responsibilities

I had to look at all the commitments I’d taken on. I was involved in multiple boards, committees, and volunteer roles. Some of them no longer fit with the direction I wanted to go in life, and letting them go wasn’t easy. But holding on to what didn’t serve me was holding me back. I had to learn the importance of saying goodbye to things that didn’t align with my current path, even when it felt uncomfortable.

5. I Challenged My Thinking

Survival mode tricks us into believing that if something doesn’t work out, the worst-case scenario will happen. That fear is powerful. I had to change my mindset and remind myself that slowing down isn’t failure, and resting isn’t quitting. I had to learn that it’s okay not to be “on” all the time, and it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done today. Progress is still progress, even when it’s slow.

6. I Learned to Ask for Help

I’ve always had this “I’ll do it myself” mentality. But learning to be vulnerable and delegate tasks has been freeing. It was hard at first, and I’ll admit, I still struggle with it sometimes. But now, I embrace teamwork. I don’t have to carry everything alone and neither do you.

Breaking Free from Survival Mode: My Personal Journey

I got tired of feeling needed in survival mode. If situations, people, or duties weren’t being reciprocated, I let them go when I could. There were times when I didn’t want to make decisions. I wanted someone else to take charge for once. The control in me resisted, but the healing in me knew I needed to delegate. Letting go wasn’t weakness; it was growth.

It was liberating to know that I didn’t have to prove myself all the time. I could prioritize my well-being, and the world wouldn’t stop turning. It felt like freedom finally.

Additional Tips for Leaving Survival Mode

• Recognize the Signs of Survival Mode: If you’re always exhausted, overwhelmed, or feeling like you’re just going through the motions, you might still be in survival mode. Awareness is the first step to change.

• Stop Glorifying Busyness: Society has conditioned us to believe that being busy equals success. But constantly grinding doesn’t mean you're thriving. Shift your mindset to value quality of life over constant productivity.

• Create a “Bare Minimum” List: Instead of overwhelming yourself with long to-do lists, define what’s essential for each day. Ask yourself: What actually needs to be done today, and what can wait? This helps break the cycle of feeling like everything is urgent.

• Set Boundaries Without Guilt: Start saying "no" without over-explaining. You don’t have to be available to everyone all the time. Prioritize yourself just as much as you prioritize work and obligations.

• Get Comfortable with Rest: Resting isn’t lazy. It’s necessary. Start scheduling rest time just like you would a meeting. Whether it’s taking a nap, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, allow yourself space to recharge.

• Let Go of the “Strong Woman” Narrative: Many women feel pressure to be strong all the time. But real strength includes knowing when to slow down, ask for help, and take care of yourself first.

• Redefine What Success Looks Like: Success isn’t just about career milestones; it’s about living a life that feels good to you. Make peace, joy, and fulfillment part of your definition of success.

• Learn to Enjoy Stillness: If you’re used to constant movement, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. Try mindfulness, deep breathing, or even just sitting without distractions to get comfortable with stillness.

• Start Small & Be Patient: Breaking free from survival mode is a process. Start with small changes, like adding one act of self-care into your routine, and build from there.

• Find Your People: Surround yourself with people who encourage balance and peace. Being around others who have also left survival mode can inspire and support you on your journey.

Ready to Break Free from Survival Mode?
If you’re ready to start embracing rest and creating more balance in your life, purchase my worksheet, Breaking Free from Survival Mode and Embracing Rest and Balance, to guide you through the process. This worksheet will help you identify the signs of survival mode, evaluate your current life balance, and take actionable steps toward reclaiming your well-being.

Purchase: Worksheet: Breaking Free from Survival Mode and Embracing Rest & Balance